The need to forgive.

Among all the powers that God has entrusted us with, lies the power of forgiveness. One that we rarely use, one that we forget, we even have. In forgiveness lies great freedom. It brings new Life, it cleanses the soul. In forgiving others I find that I stumble upon my own mistakes and hence seek forgiveness from those I have pained.

It is the darkness within and the false grandeur of a perfect self that leads to all the hurt and pain.

Rights and wrongs are not not really that : they are mere lines, drawn, erased and redrawn by us. Each of us has the power to make our own rights and wrongs without crossing paths or lines with someone elses's rights and wrongs and without making those lines for someone else.

No one but The One Above us has the right to regulate and dictate these lines.

All the hurt, pain and suffering stems from wanting to control and establish a set of rules, what we name as being right, by His will, trying to act as His messengers. Who are we to decide what is good or bad, what is right or wrong. What God gave me, He gave you and gave them, then how does one become superior to another, why does one be the master and another the unwilfull subordinate?

He made us all free spirits and free people, and gave us all that He deemed precious and beautiful. He gave us the circle of Life and Death, to help us understand and appreciate the love and beauty in all. And then He gave us the power to forgive.

The power that would remove all pain, cleanse all hurt. The power that He wants us to excercise the most.

My mother tells me there is nithing bigger than forgiving and I know now how hard it is to forgive, how hard it is to live with that forgiveness, but how sweet is the sense of feeling devoid of anger, devoid of ill will.

To all those I have hurt....Please forgive me...and to those who have hurt me, I forgive....

Sometimes..

Sometimes I am scared that i grew up too fast, that I moved away to quickly and that there probably really was no hurry afetr all.

I miss the feeling of coming back with mithai on a dry august afternoon. I miss sitting on the ground and eating whatever ma had cooked. I miss being able to get papa's briefcase when he returns home from work, i miss helping ma in the kitchen, i miss being scolded that I knew no better, i missing fighting with my baby sister, I miss doing things my parent's way.

Sometimes I wonder whether I really do like all this independance so much of it all so early...do I reaaly like my own kitchen, do i like to be all good and grown up and not indulge in verbal duels and cat fights...do like just lying around without having anyone to tell me what to do..do i reall like doing everything my way...do like that I have grown up so much..so soon...Do I?